Cycling for mental health
Mental health is something that is close to my heart. At the age of 16, I started to notice that I was struggling with depression. When it actually started, I don’t know. Some think depression is just a bad day, but it’s much bigger than that. Clinical depression lasts for at least 2 weeks, and for many people, it lasts years. For me, depression took out a large chunk of my life. Motivation was, and still is, a big issue for me. Although I’ve always been somebody who appears to be busy and active, this is because depression makes it hard for me to ‘relax’. Sitting around watching TV just meant being buried in negative thoughts. Because of this, I like to occupy myself as much as possible. The feeling of enjoyment or being proud of myself is non-existent. In school I used to be happy just getting a C. With depression even if I got an A I wouldn’t be proud of myself. This was made worse by criticism from those around me. At the age of 17, I had two occasions where I experienced what it was like to be suicidal. It is something I wouldn’t wish on anybody, and one that many struggle to understand unless they’ve been there themselves. Even if I wasn’t actively suicidal, depression made life so grim, life didn’t feel worth living. Even today I struggle with truly knowing what it feels like to want to live. I’m not suicidal and I no longer have regular suicidal thoughts, but that doesn’t mean I love life and have found happiness in life.
The issue with depression is that, not only does it make it hard, if not impossible, for you to enjoy life, it steals your memory of the time you did enjoy life. I remember very little from my past. Even trying to remember what I was like or what I did at 16, when I first noticed my depression, is hard. I struggle to remember even a year or two ago. This is for my good memories; holidays, achievements, and my bad memories; being suicidal, days where I was in a low mood or days where negative things happened. While you may think it’s good for me not to be able to remember all my bad memories, I don’t remember my good memories either; and this make things hard.
Since then, I’ve also noticing I have issues with daydreaming. While many think daydreaming is a good thing, it isn’t always. Daydreaming has, to an extent, taken over my life. Regardless if I’m trying to do work, relax or hang out with friends, I’m living in my daydreams rather than in real life. Even if I try not to daydream, it feels like I can’t control it. For me, I feel this started as a way to cope with my negative thoughts. The issue is, it doesn’t make it easier. Whilst in Israel in December, I had the opportunity to meet with clinical psychologist Prof. Eli Somer, who’s researching a condition called Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MD). I decided to meet him because, once I found out about MD, I felt it is something I have, which he agrees with.
Both depression and MD affect all aspects of life. In recent years, because of my own experiences, I am hoping to raise awareness of mental health and mental ill health. I am doing a lot of work in the mental health field, which you can find out about on my website. In the UK, for every person who is affected by mental illness, only £8 is spent on research each year, compared to 22 times more for Cancer. Because of this, I would like to raise money for research into mental health.
I have done many cycles before, but this year I will be cycling a total of 700 miles for McPin Foundation, a mental health research charity. On July 29th, I will be cycling 100 miles in the Prudential Ride London. This is a group cycle, with 25,000 cyclists cycling around London and Surrey. In August, I will be cycling independently from Amsterdam, via Paris, to London.
For this fundraiser, I will be doing multiple things to try and raise as much as possible. This includes a ‘different’ week, where I will be going out with things you wouldn’t normally see, for example pyjamas or having a sigh across me, in the hope to get those who see me talking about mental health. As well as this, myself and a friend Gila have written a play, Just Call Me Rachael, based on our experiences with mental illness. This play will be showcased in London in June, to raise money for McPin Foundation.
I would like to raise £1000 for McPin Foundation. If you are able to donate, even if it’s just £1, it would be hugely appreciated both by me but also McPin Foundation.
To donate, please head over to https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/sambarakat
The issue with depression is that, not only does it make it hard, if not impossible, for you to enjoy life, it steals your memory of the time you did enjoy life. I remember very little from my past. Even trying to remember what I was like or what I did at 16, when I first noticed my depression, is hard. I struggle to remember even a year or two ago. This is for my good memories; holidays, achievements, and my bad memories; being suicidal, days where I was in a low mood or days where negative things happened. While you may think it’s good for me not to be able to remember all my bad memories, I don’t remember my good memories either; and this make things hard.
Since then, I’ve also noticing I have issues with daydreaming. While many think daydreaming is a good thing, it isn’t always. Daydreaming has, to an extent, taken over my life. Regardless if I’m trying to do work, relax or hang out with friends, I’m living in my daydreams rather than in real life. Even if I try not to daydream, it feels like I can’t control it. For me, I feel this started as a way to cope with my negative thoughts. The issue is, it doesn’t make it easier. Whilst in Israel in December, I had the opportunity to meet with clinical psychologist Prof. Eli Somer, who’s researching a condition called Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MD). I decided to meet him because, once I found out about MD, I felt it is something I have, which he agrees with.
Both depression and MD affect all aspects of life. In recent years, because of my own experiences, I am hoping to raise awareness of mental health and mental ill health. I am doing a lot of work in the mental health field, which you can find out about on my website. In the UK, for every person who is affected by mental illness, only £8 is spent on research each year, compared to 22 times more for Cancer. Because of this, I would like to raise money for research into mental health.
I have done many cycles before, but this year I will be cycling a total of 700 miles for McPin Foundation, a mental health research charity. On July 29th, I will be cycling 100 miles in the Prudential Ride London. This is a group cycle, with 25,000 cyclists cycling around London and Surrey. In August, I will be cycling independently from Amsterdam, via Paris, to London.
For this fundraiser, I will be doing multiple things to try and raise as much as possible. This includes a ‘different’ week, where I will be going out with things you wouldn’t normally see, for example pyjamas or having a sigh across me, in the hope to get those who see me talking about mental health. As well as this, myself and a friend Gila have written a play, Just Call Me Rachael, based on our experiences with mental illness. This play will be showcased in London in June, to raise money for McPin Foundation.
I would like to raise £1000 for McPin Foundation. If you are able to donate, even if it’s just £1, it would be hugely appreciated both by me but also McPin Foundation.
To donate, please head over to https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/sambarakat